NRE – New Relationship Energy. Experienced by most and cherished by those who experience it. It’s the giddy first six months or so of your relationship where it feels like absolutely nothing could possibly go wrong. Those yummy chemicals are flooding your brain. All you want is more. More time. More energy. More of that person.
Many of us understand and experience this. For some, it occurs whenever any relationship has begun anew. For others, myself included, it doesn’t always occur, but is welcome when it does. With awareness of this phenomenon and the known effect it has on our bodies and mindsets, should we be more cautious during this period? Should we avoid moving too far forward or large decisions? Should we wait until the period has passed for talk of a Dominant/submissive dynamic to occur? Are there some relationships in which the NRE doesn’t pass?
As always, I don’t have the answers. If you do, please, feel free to share. I have never been one to be cautious or tread lightly. I will jump in without testing the waters. Even if the water is ice cold, I’m often glad for the experience of it.
I will readily admit that I am swimming in more NRE than I can handle with my latest relationship. Three months ago, I was at a weekend long kink conference full of little sleep, lots of play, continued connection with a group of chosen family I don’t get to see nearly often enough, and a very special new connection I never could have seen coming. He began that weekend as a handsome and charming stranger. He is now my boyfriend, Daddy, lover, and best friend. We are quickly flying towards a D/s relationship and would already be in one if the distance between us wasn’t so great.
The worries of the effect of NRE on our judgement is actually a large part of why he is not *technically* my official Dominant as of yet. He’s a crafter by hobby, and a pretty darn good one. The last time I was with him, I asked him to make me a necklace out of leather to remember him by. So that I would have something tangible to touch and remember him by while we were apart. His eyes widened and he walked towards me, asking if I were asking him to collar me. I grinned shyly and blushed, looking down. He brought my chin up with his hand, piercing my heart in the best of ways with his gaze. I wanted so badly to say Yes. To kiss him deeply and run towards the dynamic. But I cared enough for our longevity to say No. Not yet. It’s too early. We’re too far. I said it because I am painfully aware of the possibility of NRE and don’t want it to cloud our judgement in such a major decision.
I am still allowing myself and us to enjoy it to its fullest. We have good morning and good night calls. We text throughout the day. Our sex and kink are steamy, deliciously dark, and so well matched that it’s like he leapt out of my fantasies. I love him so much that it makes my chest ache and my passion burn. He inspires me to do better. To be better. To take care of myself for him. To take care of his most cherished property. This is the first time I am being cautious because of the NRE. Because I want so badly to be with him for years to come and be his as fully as I can be. I’m not sure when the newness may fade. Unlike with past relationships, however, I welcome the comfort. I welcome the fading of new and shiny. I want the dust to settle and the sky to clear and then begin to build from where we stand. For the first time, I’m being cautious because I care.